Margie Patton
Staff Writer
Jonah Falcon has gone to great lengths in his philanthropy – a great length of 13.5 inches to be exact. The New York-based writer and actor has decided to donate his 13 ½” long penis to the Icelandic Phallogical Museum (a.k.a Penis Museum) after his death.
“I appreciate your museum’s devotion to science,” Falcon told the museum, “and it would be an honor to have my manhood put on display, hopefully nestled between the sexual appendages of a sperm whale and a polar bear … I hope I don’t make either of those creatures jealous. May I suggest you call the exhibit, ‘Jonah and the Whale’.”
Falcon has declined offers to do pornography, but has used his exceptional endowment to gain media attention and further his career. Over the years, he has appeared in several television specials and claimed the title of “the largest penis ever measured in a documentary.” Now, with the donation to the museum secured, Falcon has found a way to preserve his member’s memory for future generations.
The museum was erected in 1997 with over 300 specimens now on display. It’s not only the big boys that get the love, though. Gentlemen intimidated by the 6 ft. whale organ might want to shift their focus to the hamster display, with the furry creature’s protuberance clocking in at a petite 2mm long.
As for Jonah’s donation, the 43-year-old appears to be in good health and hopes that it will be a long time before his penis joins the ranks of genitalia on exhibit. For those who can’t wait to see his famous phallus, Falcon bares all in the 1999 HBO special Private Dicks: Men Exposed. Viewers may be slightly disappointed, however, that all 13 ½ inches are not on display in the documentary. Falcon was filmed flaccid for the special, so “only” 9 ½ inches of his manhood will grace your screen.
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