Basically you get to spend the first hour trying to predict who’s going to freeze to death in the second.
Not to spoil anything, but the entire Everest cast has only about a 50/50 shot at coming down for Everest 2. As my favorite line of dialogue reveals, “The mountain always gets the last word.” That’s such a swell title for an opening number, I’ll use it if I’m ever involved in the Broadway transfer.
Anybody who’s seen
the preview already knows going in that they’re in for a grueling ride. So I guess
the questions should be:
A) How grueling?
B) Is it worth the pain?
The answers would be:
Very and no.
As a matter of full-disclosure, I have an excruciating fear of heights and spent most of the film crossing my legs very, very tightly.
A gaggle of rich, explorer-on-weekends tourists hire a guide to take them up
Mt Everest. What could go wrong?
It’s beautifully done, but after a while you might feel annoyed that
you’re emotionally bleeding for people who each paid $65,000 to climb a mountain, in
a storm, against advice and odds. It didn’t take me long to utter aloud, “Why…are…you…doing…this?!”
By that, I mean the characters AND the actors. This had to be the most miserable craft-services table you could ever imagine. This is a lot of work.
Especially for leading actor, protagonist, and alleged Australian (Jason Clarke) who, by the way, has appeared in
eleven movies in the last three years! Frankly. ELEVEN. And in that time we’ve seen
him fight for his life with Terminators, talking apes, Leo DiCaprio and now Mt
Everest.
Not to mention bootlegging with Shia LeBeouf. That’s quite a run of monsters dude, calm down. Really. Perhaps a Woody Allen movie next or something?
Excellent cameos in unusually bad wigs are
provided by Robin Wright and Keira Knightley, who each portray worried, homebound wives, smart enough to skip this particular vacation.
They’re both
excellent; in fact, the whole cast is very good as are all of the production
values and direction. First rate. And kudos to Jake Gyllenhaal for finding a way to insert and
display his fabulous torso while catching up on some sunbathing at freezing altitude. Well done, boy. But I’m afraid that, once again, Jake has gone to an extraordinary amount of effort to be in a movie that’s probably not going to be a hit.
But it’s good enough to catch at home with a fuzzy robe and a warm beverage.
(Loudinni specializes in one-minute-read reviews sans spoilers.)
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