DJ SoundBite
Staff Writer
I…I…Don’t…What?!…I mean….WHAT?! How…YOU HAVE THE BALLS?!!!…You sonofabitch!!! I think I need to lie down after I finish writing this…
Ok so this is 2 episodes in one for the finale of How I Met Your Mother. If you have seen it, I am sure the above statement will resinate. If you haven’t, here is the recap.
September 2005- The group has just brought Robin into the Gang and Lily says to Barney and Ted the only way they can hook up is if one of them marries her.
At the wedding, Ted is talking about his move to Chicago and sees the mother (whose name is Tracy). Barney realizes they are both single and tries to play “Have You Met Ted,” but he says he needs to go and catch his train. The gang heads outside and he says goodbye to all of them, which is very touching. In fact, credit where credit is due; for 90% of this 1st episode, the comedy hits home and the emotional moments really do make you feel for them.
Courtesy of FlasertainTed is now at the train station telling the story to the old lady (where we began this season). She says he should go back to the wedding because what if it was density? He says no and she counters what if the universe sent a gigantic sign; would he talk to her? He says yes and she points over to Tracy who is standing on the platform. He is still reluctant as in 24 hours, his life is going to be completely different.
24 hours later- McClaren’s Pub. Marshal and Lily say it feels different now that Ted is gone; only to turn to find Ted sitting in the booth. They asks what he is doing here, he says he’s not moving to Chicago anymore because he says he met a girl. He calls her against Marshal’s advice (3 day rule). Marshal is saying Ted will blow it with his normal behaviour but Lily says it is different.
2015- Barney and Robin and Ted in the bar talking about the over the top wedding he is planning. Robin’s career has taken off and Barney is slightly upset as she is everywhere but New York. Tracy comes in and says she can’t get married in September because she is pregnant.
May 2016- The gang are in Ted’s house. Marshal is back in corporate law (and not liking it); Robin and Barney didn’t enjoy Argentina… so much so that they got divorced. Lily is about to have a 3rd baby, but makes everyone promise that they will all still hang out.
October 2016- Lily and Marshal are in their apartment. They decide they need to move somewhere bigger. They have a Halloween/Farewell Apartment Party. Robin comes to the party (no costume) and it is very awkward between her and Barney. Ted is wearing his ballot costume and Robin has a flashback to her and Ted on the roof about waiting for the slutty pumpkin. The mother is with him and Robin says she needs to go. Lily catches Robin about to leave and says the gang needs to be here. Robin says the gang to her is a married couple who she never sees anymore and about to have a 3rd kid, her ex-husband hitting on slutty cops in front of her, and it’s the guy who she probably should have ended up with there with the beautiful mother of his child.
Ok stop a moment…they are not going to go back here are they? No. They wouldn’t dare…THEY F&%* WOULDN’T DARE!!!….
Lily is upset, asking if their friendship is over. Robin says it will never be how it was and they have lots of great stuff but the 5 of them hanging out isn’t one of those things.
And that is the end of Part 1. It started off really strong but I found it lagging. I want to know about the mother Tracy, not that Barney and Robin got a divorce. And while on that subject, you build up an entire season around their wedding and then 15 minutes in you say they got a divorce?! What the hell!
Anyway onto Part 2.
2018- Barney is excited that they are all together at McClaren’s (except for Robin). Barney says new rule, any time anyone mentions something sad they have to stay out an extra hour. Ted says it’s not a big moment till Marshal comes in and says a judge in Queens is retiring and he is going to be a judge. Barney sees a redhead and tries to go get her and Lily grabs him by the tie and tells him off. He says he tried to change but if it isn’t going to happen with Robin it isn’t going to happen with anyone.
2019- Lily, Marshal, Ted and Tracy are at Wrestlers vs. Robots. Ted and Tracy are still not married and Barney comes in drunk and upset. He attempted perfect month (where he hits on a girl successfully every night). He put together a new playbook and succeeded; however ‘Number 31’ is pregnant.
2020- Ted is talking about the GNB building to his daughter (Penny) and Robin comes and says hello. Ted tells it to Lily and Marshal in a waiting room for Barney’s ‘love child.’ Barney is still not invested and still calls the woman ‘Number 31.’ The child is a girl and he holds ‘Ellie’ for the first time and he starts crying and says sweet things to her like he will always look after her.
Courtesy of Winchestrbrothrs
Courtesy of Winchestrbrothrs
Courtesy of WinchestrbrothrsBack at Ted and Tracy’s place, he asks for the ring back and re-proposes and says they are getting married on Thursday.
Thursday comes around at the bar and Barney is falling asleep because his baby kept him up. It was fun seeing the tables reversed. He goes up to 2 good looking girls (with the gang thinking he is going to hit on them) and tells them off to make better choices (now that he is a father). Robin comes into the bar and they are all happy and Marshal also tells him he is running for State Supreme Court. Tracy comes in in her dress and she takes a photo of the group. Lily brings them all to tears with her heartfelt toast. During a photo montage of Tracy and Ted, which also shows them tying the knot, we hear Ted gushing how he has always loved her; even when she was sick, they were still together.
Back at the train station Ted walks over to her and they share the umbrella and have a great cute exchange. The initials TM are on the umbrella (Tracey McConnell); a very cute tribute about how the umbrella brought them together.
A much older Ted says, “That, kids, is how I met your mother.”
Courtesy of Mud-bloood
Courtesy of Mud-blooodThe kids say, “Is that it?”, and Penny says she doesn’t buy it, that that was not the reason he made them listen to the story. Penny says this big long story was told, but that their mum was hardly in it, and that this was the story of how Ted was, and still is, totally in love with Aunt Robin and that he wants to ask her out, but wants to make sure they are okay with it.
Courtesy of Mud-bloood
Courtesy of Mud-blooodTurns out they ARE ok with it, saying that Tracy has been gone for six years, and the kids encourage him to pick up the phone and call her. He is about to, but then says “or,” and we see Robin in her apartment. He stands outside of her apartment with a blue French Horn.
Title card with “How I Met Your Mother.”
WHAT…THE…SWEET…&*%^&!
I am so angry right now that trying to type words is difficult. Seriously! What kind of ending is that? We finish over 207 episodes right where we began the first one? With Ted pining after Robin? NO! No! No! No! NONONONOOOOOO!
You know what kind of ending this was? This was a fan fiction ending! Surely nobody was sold on this, right? I took to twitter to see what the reactions were and an OVERWHELMING amount of people HATED this ending.
You know what I wanted to see in the last 2 episodes? THE F&^* MOTHER! I wanted to see their relationship! Any screen time was either her as a side character or her meeting Ted on the train station platform. And although I understand that it has been six years since Tracy died how about the kids show some emotion?! It’s your mother, being talked about by your father; about how much he loved her…at least sell me that you guys cared!
Also, you explain away her death with ‘she got sick.’ YOU SONOFABITCH! You teased and built up this character for 9 seasons and you kill her off, off screen, with no explanation, and no scenes to build up emotional investment. F*%^ YOU!
Also, speaking of kids, Barney became a dad…BARNEY BECAME A DAD WITH A ONE NIGHT STAND! We never see the woman, and apart from that little exchange with the girls in the bar, how does that change him? You can’t introduce a HUGE plot point like that and explain it away with one line!
This has to be the most elaborate April Fools’ joke ever played! They made us watch 9 seasons for THIS ending! I give this piece of crap a 1.5/5 and it only gets that 1.5 because the comedy and emotion in the first 15 minutes was really good. Everything else can go die like Tracy did! What? Should I not say that? Why should I care since CLEARLY the show didn’t?!
*Goes off muttering and ranting*
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