When I first started doing the Thirsty Thursday columns, I had it in my head that I needed to do topical themes, ie Veterans for Veteran’s Day; The Avengers ranked by sexiness right before the movie was released, etc. But, last week, I decided to broaden my pop culture horizons and go back a bit with my Charmed piece. After finishing that article, it occurred to me that I had been severely limiting myself! Who cares if it’s still on the air? Charmed is still relevant to this day, and defunct shows that I loved are a literal treasure trove of hotties.
For these reasons, and so many more, this week’s Thirsty Thursday will be dedicated to the beautiful, beefy beasts of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (television series).
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5. Riley, played by Marc Blucas
Okay, Riley kind of sucked. He and Buffy did not have great chemistry and they were rather doomed from the start. But he was sure was sexy. It didn’t hurt that he was a militant killer in a secret, underground demon fighting squad. Also, when I think of Riley, I think of him and Buffy trapped in that sex loop at the sorority house in “Where the Wild Things Are” and my feelings toward him suddenly thaw. There’s a lot to be said for a young, impressionable girl witnessing a woman thoroughly enjoying sex for the first time. It was quite liberating.
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4. Oz, played by Seth Green
I loved Oz. I loved Willow. I loved everything about Oz and Willow together. Seth Green is the quintessential ’90s man, and his turn on Buffy was a magical one. Literally, it was magical— he played a werewolf. He was sweet, loyal and musically talented with just a hint of untapped danger underneath (ie: every teenage girl’s dream man).
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3. Spike, played by James Marsters
I know, I know. Half of you are cursing me right now: “THREE?! YOU PUT SPIKE AT THREE?! ARE YOU BLIND/DEAF/DUMB/SUICIDAL?” I hear you, people; but bear with me. Okay, first of all, I’m not a huge fan of the bleach-blonde hair and all that damn product. It’s just way too manscapey for me. Second, that unhealthy relationship he had going on with Drusilla skeeved me out. She was insane, and basically a child intellectually. It’s got far too much of a Duggar feel for me. Now, in later seasons, I thoroughly enjoyed Spike and the sexual ferocity he and Buffy shared; but overall, he’s just not my favorite. #SorryNotSorry
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2. Wesley, played by Alexis Denisof
Now you’re probably ALL cursing me: “YOU PUT WESLEY BEFORE SPIKE?!?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING DEMENTED?!” Well, I stand by it. I’ve always had a thing for the brainy, nerdy guys, especially when they’re as sexy as Wesley is. Seriously, look past the character and just at that face, and I think you’ll see what I mean. Plus, he’s married to Alyson Hannigon (Willow) in real-life and are absurdly adorable together. #RelationshipGoals
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1. Angel, played by David Boreanaz
Oh Angel. Most of the Buffy fans I talk to are not team Angel, but stand firmly on the side of the aforementioned Spike. Well, luckily for me, I get to put these stud muffins in the order of my choosing. I chose Angel for a number of reasons. One being that he was Buffy’s first love. She discovered herself with him and she awakened his blackened soul. They learned from each other. But theirs was an ill-fated love, one that could never truly be. Another reason is because he is one of the first men I remember being sexually attracted to. This show debuted when I was 12-years-old, right on the cusp of my own awakening. Seeing Angel all shirtless and sweaty with Buffy in that infamous scene is something I still remember vividly to this day. What can I say? I like brooding brunettes.
What say you, Buffy fans? Am I way off base, or do you agree with my list? Be sure to vote in the poll below and let us know your choice for sexiest Buffy Beast!
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